3 Summers

He grew up in a large Minnesota town on a quiet dead end street slightly hidden to the average passerby. Their house is decorated in beautiful soft colors and filled with books; lots and lots of books. They talk about their days, social issues affecting the world, and current events over home cooked meals. They talk and laugh and enjoy each other's company in a house full of love.

I spent the last week visiting Ben's hometown in Minnesota. This was our third summer enjoying each other's company, friendship, and adventures side by side. It was my first time visiting Minnesota and seeing the town where Ben grew up. We toured the area, visited the local university, and saw all of the sites that reflect Ben's childhood. I saw his favorite rails to skate, the elementary school he used to walk to, and the places where his best friends had lived. I saw all of the things and places that have made him who he is: a thoughtful, intelligent, and unique individual. And one of my best friends.

The Minnesota sign on our drive in. It was a little less than 12 hours but the time seemed to fly!

A sea turtle at the Mall of America Aquarium!

Ben at the Aquarium.

Stingray!

Trying to touch a shark!

Shark Attack!!

The theme park inside the Mall of America...ridiculous!

While in Minnesota I also had the chance to visit Patty, one of my college roommates and good friends who now lives in the Twin Cities where she serves in the Americorps program "Rebuilding Together". I enjoyed seeing her place and traveling around the Twin Cities. One of the things that we did was visit the James Hill mansion-a 36,000 square foot hilltop house that belonged to a pioneer of the Railroad industry in the late 1800's. This is their dining room.

The laundry room at the mansion. It consisted of 20 large pull out racks to hang items on.

The furnace room.

Ben's family just got a new kitty named Bella. She has ALOT of personality but was tons of fun to play with.

While touring the Minnesota State University campus we caught their football team practicing.

Art on Art...this picture was in Minneapolis at an art gallery and garden. It was pretty neat to see a painter painting the scene I was photographing.

Ben, his mom, and his brother Nick at the sculpture garden.

Ben and I.

A "short" giraffe at the Como zoo in Minneapolis.

I saw this cute little girl at the zoo and had to snap a picture. She is looking out at a giant box turtle.

Me eating a Cheese Chilito in Mankato. Ben has been telling me about this Mexican restaurant and these Cheese Chilito's since I first met him in New York and I was so excited to finally get to try them!

Feeding some grass to a miniature horse at a park in Mankato.

Cheesy picture.

It was a great vacation and a great end to the summer. As always, it was hard to say goodbye but I'm already looking forward to the next adventure.

3 summers of fun.

Seasons

As I walk casually around the grocery stores and shopping malls this time of year I find myself distracted by all things "back to school." There are cute pink notebooks, shiny plastic lunch boxes, all things space-saving for dorm room organization, and school-year planners everywhere. I used to really enjoy this time as a time to welcome in a new school year and a fresh start with all sorts of crispy new school supplies. In college I had a notebook for every class in separate colors that corresponded with a binder and folders to match. And I loved each of them as if they held some great out-pouring of intelligence that I would pick up just by using them. I was excited for new classes, new notebooks, and meeting new people. I liked "back to school" everything.

Now, however, I've found that my feelings have changed. For the past few years back to school time marks new beginnings for the rest of the world while in my world everything changes but stays exactly the same. People go back to school, I just go back to the office for another week of work. Friends leave on exciting adventures, begin grad-school programs in exotic locations, or return to the familiar faces of their college courses while I relearn the art of solitude and settle in to all things familiar. For me it feels as though nothing is changing when in reality everything is. But it isn't new or fresh or exciting; it isn't "back to school". I no longer get to look forward to the anticipation of living with new roommates, the excitement of purchasing brand spankin' new notebooks, or the joy that comes from being surrounded by good friends every moment of the day.

But I am not complaining. Just noticing how seasonal my life is. Summer is full of excitement and adventures from late night talks outdoors to spending time with family and friends and everything in between. Everyone is alive during the summer months. I am alive during the summer months. Alive planning the next day's adventure, staying up way too late, and enjoying all things in the great outdoors. And making new friends. And spending time with those that I love. Summer is a great awakening; a time for heartfelt excitement that seeps from your pores as you embrace sunshine and the warm breeze whispering in your ear. But summer doesn't last long and too quickly it fades to into the cool emptiness of fall. I go from days filled with laughter and company to days filled with personal adventures and good books. My world changes with the seasons. And this year will be no different.

As I think about "back to school" and the newness that this time brings to those around me I can't help but think about the seasons of my life. I have had seasons of beautiful sunshine engulfing me with constant adventures, laughter, friendships, and chances to make a difference in the world. I have also had seasons of rain and dark cloudy days where solitude quickly becomes my closest friend. These seasons, these periods of my life, force me to examine myself at every point and discover what can become new even when it seems like nothing is changing.

The changing seasons always make me feel as though the world is spinning madly around me as I sit comfortably in a state of consistency. Maybe I don't want consistency. Maybe I want adventure and passion and excitement all the time. Or maybe, just maybe, I must find my own way to join the rest of the world in this season of "back to school" by forcing myself to step outside of my normal routine and bring the sunshine of Summer straight into Fall.

This year I am determined to bring the newness of "back to school" into my life without ever stepping foot into a classroom. I'll have my own adventures, take on my own new projects, and spend time learning more about myself to focus in on the person that I want to become.

Seasons change, lives change, but it's how I handle the change that will help me carry the summer sunshine into fall to brighten even the dreariest of days.

Summer Time= Fun Time

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of adventures as summer quickly comes to a close. I'll share with you what I've been up to in pictures :-)

Ben and I being silly after enjoying a red slurpee.

Liz and I went rope swinging last Thursday. There is a place not far from where I live to hike along the river and there just so happen to be 2 rope swings along the hike so we thought that would be a great Thursday adventure. Since we have to photo document all of our adventures, we thought we should both go on the rope swing at the same time for a good picture. Well, it IS a great picture but I must say that a significant amount of pain and bruising was the aftermath. Don't worry, it was still worth it!

I snagged this picture of a butterfly at a photography workshop I attended this weekend here at one of the parks in Dayton. They had an amazing array of beautiful outdoor gardens and I probably could have walked around there all day. It's amazing to me how much outdoor adventure there can be in a city!

I also snagged this one at the photography workshop. They have a children's garden which is a mix of interactive activities and childlike toys in the midst of a blooming green garden...so beautiful and unique!

I went to a slip n slide party this weekend and had so much fun I can't even describe it! The picture here is Brandon (a friend of Ben's visiting from Iowa), myself, and Ben creating an "Ashley Sandwich". Just a fair warning: if you ever find yourself in a slip-n-slide situation and they want to create a "sandwich" to go down in, you DO NOT want to be the person in the middle...it's painful! There were all sorts of tricks and daring acts being performed as a bunch of 20-something adults slid down hill on a 100 foot long slip-n-slide....what a great way to spend a summer day!

Me, Ben, Craig, Liz, and a few other people creating a train to go down the slip-n-slide!

Another adventure in the past few weeks was a trip to a local school festival. This is a picture of Ben and I about to ride a ride
At the same festival, one of our friends won a fish and I was the one that got to keep it so I had my first pet since I was 9 years old in the form of a little fish I named Frankie. I am sad to report, though, that Frankie only lived about a week :-( I'm convincing myself that 1 week is a long life for a fish you win at a fair.

This past Friday Liz, Brandon, Ben, and I went to the Greene County fair here in Ohio and stopped by Young's Dairy for some ice cream afterwards. We thought posing with these cutouts was a good idea!

Liz and I on a spinny ride. This was a blast and everyone enjoyed a good laugh.

Thursday night Johnny Lang and George Thorogood were playing at an outdoor pavilion here in Dayton. I tried to convince my Dad to make the trip down for the concert but he was busy working and doing adult things so I recruited a few friends to go with me. It was a PERFECT night for a concert and we sat with our feet dangling in a fountain gazing at the stars and listening to two great artists perform. Live music, good company, and beautiful weather would be close to a perfect summer night in my book!

Last weekend, Liz and I thought it would be a good idea to get all dressed up and go out so here we are enjoying a mojito at the Cheesecake Factory.

I am having a hard time believing that summer is already almost over. So often it feels like time is my enemy and I'm always craving more of it. I want more time to do things that I love, more time to be with people that I love, and more time to enjoy everyday moments that often pass me by unnoticed. I sit here humbled thinking back on this summer and all of the great adventures, friendships, memories, and challenges that it has brought into my life. I am humbled too, to be reminded of how small the small things really are in the scope of time.

I hope that summer has brought something great into your life and that you can enjoy the remainder of the long sunny days before fall sets in.

*Pictures from the slip-n-slide party, the county fair, and the school festival compliments of Liz Bramlish*

Sunday Swimmin'

I had mentioned a month or so ago that I was starting to swim again. Well, my first swim in 5 years was Sunday where I swam the swim portion of a team triathlon. I woke up bright and early Sunday morning to make the drive up to Lima to meet Randy and his wife Deniese, my teammates for the triathlon. Randy is a Product Line Manager I used to work with at Federal Mogul with a sweet spirit and a love for biking. We had been talking many months ago and I had mentioned that I used to swim competitively and that the triathlon sounded like fun. They needed a swimmer, and I, well I just wanted to swim. So we teamed up. And it turns out we are a pretty darn good team. We ended up taking 1st place in the coed team division of the triathlon and couldn't have been more excited! I had a ton of fun swimming for Randy and Deniese and hope I get to do it again next year.

Some Pictures:
Ben and I after the race....it was nice to have someone cheering for me AND taking pictures!

Me, Randy, and Deniese with our 1st place trophies!

I'm out there somewhere :-)

As you can tell, the water was FREEZING. And so was the air!

It felt good to be swimming again. After so many years of swimming I didn't realize that quitting would make me feel like something was missing in my life. But now, after training and competing again, I've realized that swimming has a place in my life that nothing else will ever fill. It's something made up of countless hours in the pool, self competition and motivation, and a measure of hard work that I may never know again. It is something made sweeter by happy memories, lifelong friendships, and many heartfelt stories of beating out the rival team or bettering myself along the way. It's the way chlorine becomes a sort of perfume you can never get rid of. Or the thrill of a close race. Or the solitude of swimming lap after lap lost in your own thoughts or humming your favorite song. It's the way you compete against yourself yet rely on your team. Or cheering on your closest friends. Swimming is all about the moments-the small, short, seemingly insignificant moments-that we swimmers know have the power change everything.

It felt good to be swimming again. And winning, well, winning didn't feel so bad either :-)

Rainy Day

A harsh steady rain has been falling all day. Through the open window nearby I can hear the tiny droplets beating softly against the pavement below. It's a familiar sound; a comforting sound that makes me want to curl up in comfy sweats with a hot cup of tea and a good book and stay in bed all day. Rain is such a soothing thing; something that forces you to slow down in your crazy life to readjust for awhile until the skies open up into clear blue again. It's like life really, rain is, symbolic of the dreary days-the "please don't make me get out of bed" days-that you have to get through to appreciate the clear blue sky "nothing can go wrong for me today" days. Once the rain has cleared its always refreshing to step back outside, breathe in deep, and appreciate the touch of sunshine.

Today's been a rainy day for me. A day that started out not so good and progressively failed to improve. I had started laundry this morning to get some dress clothes clean for work and proceeded with my normal morning routine. A while later, when I was putting a bagel in the toaster and attempting to hurry out the door to make sure I was not late to pick up a coworker for a trip to a career fair in Cincinnati, I step over to look out the window in my laundry room and realize that I am standing in a puddle of water. The obvious culprit: my washer. I'm looking around to make sure hoses are in place, calling my dad for help, and laughing while secretly hoping the water has not reached the apartment below me. I don't have time to deal with it so I have to throw some towels on the floor and run out the door. Not exactly a pleasant start to the day. I left the laundry room problem at home and headed off to meet prospective employees. Reason 1 on the list of why today was a rainy day. During a break I was able to check my email and realized that in an attempt to be helpful at work I had really created more work for a coworker. Not exactly my finest moment but I added to the list of reasons why today would be a rainy day. Later on I came upon another message letting me know that there were some errors and things that got overlooked on background checks that I had performed for new-hires. If you know me, you'll know I'm close to a perfectionist and do not like to make errors-especially at work. What I like even less, is making the same mistake more than once. Add it to the rainy day list. I come home from work and begin cleaning up the mess left by my washer and schedule an appointment for maintenance to come out. "Next available appointment" the automated Whirlpool lady says "is Thursday between 8am and 12pm." Perfect time to schedule an appointment for anyone who has a 9-5 job isn't it? Add it to the rainy day list. Needless to say, today was a rainy day in more ways than one and the rainy day list wasn't exactly a short one. While I was cleaning up this evening I had put on some music to enjoy and this song began to play:

Please Don't Stop the Rain by: James Morrison

I don't know where I crossed the line

Was it something that I said
Or didn't say this time

And I don't know if it's me or you

But I can see the skies are changing

In all the shades of blue

And I don't know which way it's gonna go

If it's gonna be a rainy day

There's nothing we can do to make it change

We can pray for sunny weather

But that won't stop the rain

Feeling like you got no place to run

I can be your shelter 'til it's done

We can make this last forever

So please don't stop the rain

(Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall)

Please don't stop the rain

(Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall)

Please don't stop the rain

I thought that time was on our side

I've put in far too many years

To let this pass us by

You see life is a crazy thing

There'll be good time and there'll be bad times

And everything in between

And I don't know which way it's gonna go

If it's gonna be a rainy day

There's nothing we can do to make it change

We can pray for sunny weather

But that won't stop the rain

Feeling like you got no place to run

I can be your shelter 'til it's done

We can make this last forever

So please don't stop the rain

(Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall)

Please don't stop the rain

(Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall)

Please don't stop the rain

Oh we're a little closer now

And finding what life's all about

Yeah I know you just can't stand it

When things don't go your way

But we've got no control over what happens anyway

If it's gonna be a rainy day

There's nothing we can do to make it change

We can pray for sunny weather

But that won't stop the rain

Pretty perfect if you ask me. I like the message that no matter what you do or what you want or hope and pray for, we can't stop the rain or the rainy days. I can't stop my washer from breaking, I can't stop making mistakes (even though I try), and I can't stop hurtful things from happening-they're all part of life and we really don't have any control over what happens anyways. Listening to this song I was reminded of all the reasons why I should appreciate rainy days. What I'd like to share with you now are all the reasons why even though today was rainy it was still a great day.

Here goes:

1. I woke up. Some people didn't get to wake up today but I was lucky enough to have another day.

2. I have an amazing family. The kind that you can call at 730 am because your washer is throwing up water all over your apartment and they will not only tell you how to fix the problem but crack jokes about it with you just to make you feel better.

3. I got to learn more about my coworker on our drive to the career fair in Cincinnati. She is really a wonderful, thoughtful person and I really couldn't have asked to work in a better office than I do right now.

4. I received an email today letting me know that I had unknowingly inspired someone to take up a volunteer project that they have been thinking of for quite a while. I am so excited for this person to take on a new endeavor and to get to hear about it all along the way!

5. I got to enjoy the sound of the rain outside of my window while some of my favorite music played through the speakers nearby.

6. I got to eat ice cream. Any day can become a good day when ice cream is involved.

7. A friend I haven't talked to in quite a while called me today...I love hearing from good friends and catching up on all of the excitement going on in our lives.

I could go on forever really, of all the reasons why life is good even when it rains.

If you're having a rainy day I hope you can step back to enjoy it for all that its worth. I hope that life will give you the ability to see the good in the rainy days, or if nothing else, the ability to appreciate the sunshine that always comes after the rain.

And because every post is better with a picture, here is a picture of one of my favorite rainy days. It is from the Summer of 2007 when I was living in New York. I had went out hiking with 3 of my good friends and, although it rained the whole time, we laughed, talked, and enjoyed each other's company surrounded by the sound of tiny rain drops falling all around us. Even without sunshine, it was a beautiful day.

23

I just celebrated my 23rd birthday. I'm not quite sure what this new year will bring for me but right now, I'm liking where I am at. My birthday was full of sweet surprises from friends, thoughtful cards, shared meals and conversations, and a great visit from my parents. Here are a few pictures from the weekend with my family:
Mom and Dad at the Air Force Museum!Close up!
WWII Pilot at the Air Force Museum

Cool Sign!

Some Air Force planes!

That's me! Walking on the moon!!! (or in a space suit at the Air Force Museum...you can decide which to believe ;-) )

I also wanted to share a few pictures from the last week of my new friends Liz and Chris. We met while serving at Camp Pathways and have become great friends already. It has been so great having friends to show me around town or just hang out with and I don't think I could have asked to have met better people than these two.

The 3 of us out in Dayton...we're calling ourselves the Three Musketeers now.

Liz and I accidentally matching.

Life has been good to me in my short 23 years. I am thankful for the journey and adventure that the last 23 years have been surrounded by family and friends to share in the ups and downs and am so grateful to be in this place, in this moment, right now.

Thanks to everyone for making my 23rd birthday, and the last 23 years, so amazing! I hope that everyone is doing well and enjoying summer!

Camp Pathways

Happiness is...
seeing someone accomplish something they never thought they could do
giving of yourself to make life a little easier for somebody else
hearing the laughter of a child

Happiness is...
meeting people where they are and connecting in ways you never thought possible
catching a game winning pass
sharing stories of your own life to somehow help others

Happiness. It's found in the middle of the woods, at the top of a wall, or playing duck duck goose with complete strangers. It's in campfire skits, ridiculous songs, and games of tag. It's yours if you want it, free of charge. In the midst of all of your pain and sorrow and unanswered questions happiness is still there. You can find it. We can find it. Together.

I had the opportunity to volunteer at Camp Pathways last weekend. Camp Pathways is a camp that the grief counseling center, Pathways of Hope, at Hospice of Dayton puts on every year for children who have lost a loved one. I had heard about camp my first day of orientation and knew that it was something I wanted to-no, had to-be a part of. So, I signed up to serve as an assistant group leader and had the privelage to serve while learning much about the strength and love of others.

My group was the Purple team comprised of 6 ten year old boys and an abundance of female counselors which made for an interesting weekend. Our kids did archery, took on the climbing wall, competed at field games, and participated in music and crafts. But what they came to camp for was something that took much more courage and strength than any of the activities ever could have; they came to tackle their own grief. Between activities were group sessions focused specifically on finding ways to foster healing and dealing with some great loss that had occurred in their lives. I was taken aback and humbled by their experiences. Ten year olds who had lost a loved one to cancer, or suicide, or drugs. Ten year olds who would go on the rest of their lives missing someone who was beyond important to them. Ten year olds who could laugh and play and carry on the best way that they knew how to.

Camp was truly an amazing experience for me. It's been 8 days since I've gotten home and I still haven't quite found the words to express all of the emotions and experiences of the weekend. First of all, I love camp. I love the way that camp brings out the core of your being and lets you be entirely free. It's like a retreat for your soul; a place where you can serve others, connect with others, and share with others. What I walked away from camp with was the realization that people really need other people. Kids need a place like Camp Pathways filled with people who are there to help them work through tough losses and grief issues. They need a place to laugh and to cry and to share; a place to be open with themselves and others. They need a place to take on new challenges to show them that what they hold within themselves is the strength to take on any challenge that life throws their way. But mostly, they need to be surrounded by other people who say "it's okay" no matter how they are feeling or what they are going through. People who may have shared in their experience or those who are there just to stand beside them and lend a hand when they need it the most. I was more than amazed at the strength these kids, the way that they never gave up, and the way that they could do so much more with someone standing with them helping them on.

Camp Pathways is all about the kids but I was beyond inspired by the people there to stand beside and partner with them to foster growth and healing. There were leaders there who have found the strength to return year after year to be a part of these kids' lives; to take one weekend and focus on loving and serving others who need it in so many ways. Others were previous campers coming back to share their stories of loss and utilize their own hard times to relate and encourage the kids. And others still, were first timers (like myself) taking time out of their busy lives to bring joy and hope and the strength to overcome to all of the kids.

My life has been touched by everyone that I met at camp and I can only hope to some day make a difference in other's lives the way that they are making a difference in mine.

Happiness....it can always be found.