Simple Moments: December 2009

It was a typical Monday morning as I got dressed and packed my lunch to head to work. Until I stepped outside and realized there was an icy mess covering the ground. I quickly turned around and stepped right back into my apartment to replace my high heels with warm boots. As I walked back outside I smiled to myself taking in the beauty that the tiny bit of snow had added to the world. And it was beautiful. Until it turned my 6 mile, 12 minute drive to work into a half an hour on ice-covered roads as I gripped the steering wheel a bit too tightly and tried to remain calm and not scream at the crazy drivers around me as I slowly drove my normal route to work. Since I hadn't eaten breakfast I decided that I needed to drive right past work and head to Tim Horton's for a honey wheat bagel toasted with cream cheese. Real cream cheese, not even the low fat stuff, because after that drive in, I felt I deserved it. I placed my order at the drive thru and drove around the corner to pay the cashier. As she opened the window I held out my $2. "The lady in front of you paid for you," she says. Slightly taken aback I glance to the car driving away in front of me to see if it is someone I know. It isn't. A complete stranger just bought me breakfast without even knowing who I was or what I had ordered or how much it would cost. I quickly gathered my amazement and spoke to the cashier: "well, can I do that for the car behind me then?" I ask. She told me the total was more than my bagel would cost but I told her that was okay as another worker stared over her shoulder with a shocked smile on her face. I paid my bill and drove off as the cashier wished me a great day. I smiled to myself knowing that it would be just that. I was given a random act of kindness on a morning that was starting off poorly when I hadn't even made it to work yet. And I paid it forward, to give someone else the same kindness that was given to me. I hope it went on all day, people giving to strangers and paying it forward at a small Tim Horton's restaurant in Dayton, OH.

As you rush around preparing for the Holiday's, I hope that you will take some time to pay it forward. Next time you're at a drive thru maybe you will spend a few extra dollars and pay for the person behind you. And maybe they'll pay it forward. And maybe you'll reach more people than you ever imagined through your random act of kindness. Because someone in that drive thru line is having a bad day or a bad week or a bad month, and your kindness may be the only cheer in their day.

Thank you to whoever bought my breakfast yesterday. Thank you for the reminder of how easy it can be to give back and spread cheer through simple, random acts of kindness. And Thank you for the chance to pay it forward.

And to anyone reading this, this is your chance to do something unexpected for someone else and continue to pay the kindness of a stranger forward to the lives of others. I hope that you will, and I'd love to hear about the ways you've found to do so.

There has been much going on here so here is a warning: This is going to be a long post :-) To keep you interested, I'll give you an overview of what is included:

1. Recap of the Turkey Trot and Thanksgiving

2. Perseverance through the Bad Days

3. A story of loss and encouragement from a good friend of mine

4. Miles 6 and 7!! (to go along with my Mile 5 post)

5. A Romania Reflection

6. Holiday Lights

7. LOTS OF PICTURES!!

So Lets get started:

The Holidays are a good time of year to be thankful for what you have and the year behind you. They represent tradition and family and togetherness in ways that you often don't have time for throughout the year. We sit down to share meals together, give gifts, play games, and enjoy the presence of one another in our own ways. I love this time of year. I love the lights that twinkle as you drive by and the people out and about together. I love the smells of cinnamon and sugar cookies and enjoying a hot cup of tea. There are seasonal flavors of everything (including ice cream) and bright colors everywhere you turn. This time of year it seems like everything gets brighter and happier all around us and I love the effect that has on people as it makes them brighter and happier too.

This Thanksgiving Ben, my sister, my Dad and I woke up extra early to run the Turkey Trot in Detroit. It was my sisters 2nd run but it was Ben and my Dad's 1st run of their lives. While it was a bit chilly, it was a great experience to share together. There were 14,000 runners this year and Detroit was packed but somehow we were all able to stay together and cross the finish line within seconds of one another. I felt proud crossing the finish line. Proud of my Dad for getting out and doing something he didn't really prepare to do. He thought he would have to walk a bit but was able to run the whole thing and really set the pace for the rest of us. I was proud of his accomplishment in knowing that not only could he run a race, but he could run it in a decent time. I also felt proud of my sister. She didn't want to run in the cold weather and it took weeks (literally) to convince her. But she did it. She got up early and froze with the rest of us and I was happy to run alongside of her and proud of her for doing something she didn't really want to do. And I was proud of Ben. He's never really run before...not a race, not 2 miles, nothing. But he did great! And he ran the whole way by my side and we crossed the finish line together at exactly the same time. I was proud of him for stepping outside of his comfort zone and accomplishing something he'd probably never even thought he would care to do. And as for me, I was just proud to be there. Proud to have such great people in my life; people who will get up early to run with me and laugh along the way. And I was proud to share in a moment together, right after we crossed the finish line, when high fives were given all around.

Beyond the race, it was a great weekend home with the family. Gavin got to see Santa; we picked out our Christmas tree, and enjoyed A LOT of food together. It was a great Thanksgiving and I definitely felt thankful.

After Thanksgiving I headed back to Dayton with a busy week ahead of me. A week that turned out to be busier and crazier than I expected. You know, the kind of week you'd like to tuck away in a steel box and forget it ever existed? That was my week. Life seems to do this; to bring everything onto you at once when you feel like you've just gotten your head above water long enough to breathe. There was my car back in the shop for the 2nd time in a week, learning that my job would be changing some, and the email from a friend telling me that her little cousin had just passed away. And those are just the big things. I opened my car door to get out groceries and they had all fallen out of the bag and then onto the wet pavement. My drive back to Dayton was bumper to bumper traffic nearly the whole way. I found out that I'll need to buy new running shoes as soon as possible. I had turned the heat down in my apartment not realizing the temperature would drop so suddenly and found myself freezing cold a few nights this week. And my week was filled with many more small disasters that left me feeling completely blindsided and frustrated. But this is part of life isn't it? The unforeseen, the uncertainty, the constant change in your plans? When these things happen I am often left with my mind buzzing through a ton of questions as I try to regain my balance and move forward. Why did my car have to break when I needed to spend the money elsewhere? Why do jobs sometimes turn out to be what you didn't expect? Why do you feel like you're doing things right yet things always go wrong? I can't answer any of those questions which may be more frustrating than actually asking the questions themselves. But I've realized that this uncertainty and these "bad days" can be the true beauty of life for if you can look deep enough into them you'll find reason after reason why it isn't as bad as it seems and why each moment, no matter how awful it may be, is preparing you for the next change that life will throw your way and giving you the strength to persevere.

For me, this week, this moment came in the form of an email from a good friend of mine who just lost her little cousin to a rare heart condition. After a year and a half battle with the disease the 6 year old little girl passed away on Thanksgiving Day. While this news in itself is sobering, this isn't what made me second-guess my own bad week. It was my friend’s reaction. A reaction of love and gratitude and well-wishes for the family. She had been close to the family as they had all been taking turns delivering meals and spending time with her little cousin as well as her sister. A few days before the little girl passed away my friend had brought over ice cream and princess outfits and everything princess she could find for the two girls. She dressed them up and was able to feed her little cousin ice cream and make them both feel like princesses. My friend’s reaction to her passing away was “I hope her last memory is of being a princess and eating ice cream" as she remembered her smiling and enjoying her time with them. Here, in the midst of a very hard time and unforeseen life changes, my friend was able to experience and share love. I was so inspired as I wiped tears from my eyes and read through her email. I wished that I had reacted better to my own bad week as, in comparison, it was nothing compared to hers.

With the week behind me, I set out to enjoy my weekend. It started Friday with a visit with a coworker after work. We shared stories of our lives, frustrations with our work, and spent time learning from one another. It was a great way to end the week on a much more positive note, before I headed off to a tree and cookie decorating party at my friend’s house.

Saturday Morning I set off to running group determined to run 6 miles, leave the week behind me, and give something else up in my life. If you're not familiar, read about what I'm doing by clicking here . It was early and only 20 degrees when we began running and it never really got any warmer but I didn't care. I was going to run and I was going to run more than 5 miles. I was determined. It turns out, the group that I run with on Tuesday's was shooting for 7-8 miles on Saturday so I not only ran 6 miles, I ran 7! So, here is my post for Mile 6 and Mile 7! For Mile 6, I'll be giving up comfort. What I mean by that is that it is easy to be comfortable, to stick to a routine, get comfortable and never go outside of that. And it’s easy to buy more clothes or more food even though I have enough of each of those things. It is easy to live our lives in a comfort zone. It’s nice there. It’s safe there. But I don't want to always be comfortable. So I’m going to try to do something, anything, outside of my comfort zone every week. Maybe I’ll make a new meal. Or try something new. Or shake up my routine a bit. Maybe I'll volunteer. Or give to someone through a random act of kindness. I don't know what it will be but I am going to try to give up some of my comfort so that I can learn more about the world around me and learn more about myself. Running 6 miles puts me out of my comfort zone so from now on, every time I do that I will remember what it’s like to be uncomfortable and how much I can learn about myself by going outside of my comfort zone.

One thing I've been learning about life is how easy it is to become negative when things aren't going the way that you had planned. When I am outside of my comfort zone because something changed in a way that I don't like, I become negative about it. "Why do we have to do it THAT way?" "Why did that happen?" "Why me?" These are the types of questions I begin to ask myself that eventually lead me into the downward spiral towards negativity. And negativity isn't a good friend to have. So, for Mile 7, I'm giving up negativity and I'm going to try my hardest to be positive no matter what life throws my way.

So, here’s to Mile 6 and Mile 7 and to being a person who isn't afraid to be uncomfortable. And here's to leaving behind negativity so that I can become a better, more positive person with an unshakable outlook on life.

It’s funny, when I think of being uncomfortable and of being positive I think of my time in Romania. To be in a place where all of the comforts you've ever known are stripped away, where plans never go as you'd hoped they would and disasters are happening every minute, you really learn a lot about yourself. To my teammates during my time there, I was often the person who would laugh at the disasters and say a familiar Romanian saying "This is life" with a smile on my face. It was true. This is life; change is life, and I often remember those moments where I laughed at the disasters all around me and wonder why I find that so hard to do back here in America. Life wasn't comfortable in Romania; we often slept on metal cots with only a piece of foam as our mattress. There was never enough hot water so showers were done on a schedule and extremely quick (and often freezing). We had our things stolen. Our bus broke down. Every day was literally an adventure and you never knew what was going to come your way. And none of that mattered; we had the time of our lives! I want that...I want to be uncomfortable and I want to laugh at the things that go wrong just like I did that summer. I want everyday to be an adventure and I always want to have the time of my life. Every. day.

So, after I ran 7 miles in the freezing cold I felt better about the week. I felt refreshed and uncomfortable in the best possible way. I then headed out to see some Christmas lights with my friend Laura and met my friend Max at a place called Clifton Mill. It was beautiful! They had lights everywhere and had created such a beautiful scene including a light waterfall, a miniature town all lit up, and Santa's workshop. And since this is Laura's last week co-oping here in Ohio, we also went to Young's Dairy for some ice cream. It was a great winter night with good friends, delicious ice cream, and beautiful lights.

And today, I capped off the week with a visit from my friend Eleanor, Christmas shopping, warm fuzzy boots, watching Home Alone, and filling out Christmas cards to send to those that I love scattered all across the country.

As you can tell, it’s been a crazy few weeks for me here in Ohio complete with many disappointments and frustrations alongside of accomplishments, adventures, and learning life lessons. So, here's to mile 6 and mile 7 and accomplishments that push me on to be a better person. And here's to thankfulness, Holiday fun, and the new adventure that tomorrow will bring.

And, as promised, LOTS of pictures :-)