Mile 5

As women we find that it is incredibly easy to fall into traps of belittling ourselves as we compare ourselves to others.Or maybe I should say that more specifically: I, as a woman, I find it easy to belittle myself when I compare myself to others. "She's prettier," I say. or "If I was skinnier or nicer or wore cooler clothes or..." the list goes on. I find myself caught in this trap believing that if only I were something "better" then I would be more like other women and have what they have. I see women with promising careers making a difference in the world and I feel small...as if I am unable to make a difference. I see my friends getting married and say "am I not worthy of forever?" I see people accomplishing lofty goals and say "can I not do that?" There are so many things, so many reasons to feel not good enough, or strong enough, or cool enough, or pretty enough, or simply "enough" when I look outside myself and compare myself to those around me. And it isn't just me, its lots of women, everyday, feeling belittled because they allow themselves to see someone that looks better or has more and they wish they could be the same.

But I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to feel belittled and I don't want to feel unworthy. I want to be free; free to be who I was meant to be, not who someone else is already. It's exhausting in so many ways to compare yourself to others and to allow yourself to believe lies that tell you you aren't good enough. I believe that I was made to be unique and I believe that I can do anything and be anything that I want. I can inspire others. I can make a difference. I am worthy of forever. I am strong. I am enough.

I wouldn't say it is a new realization, just a new avenue I'm taking my life down. And one I hope other women will join me on. If I stop comparing myself to others then I can be completely content to be who I am; who I was meant to be.

For me, it isn't enough to just make this realization and commit myself to it. I must take some action to carry it out in my life. So, I've started something new with a little help from my running hobby. On average, my runs are 3-4 miles long but I've really set a goal to be able to go out and comfortably run for at least an hour. Since running 4 miles isn't much of an accomplishment for me anymore, I decided this should start at Mile 5. Here is the plan: For every mile I run past 4 I will give something up in my life. For example: When I hit mile 5 (which I have recently) I gave up insecurities and comparing myself to others and began to focus, instead, on all of the good things about me and how they will help me become who I want to be. And when I hit mile 6, I'll give up something else. After I've met the goal for the 1st time, for every time I run that amount afterwards, I will be reminded of what I have given up to make me that much closer to the person that I want to become. To me, it is like shedding unwanted layers to get into the heart of who I am as a person and to completely realize my hopes, my dreams, my fears, and my deepest desires for myself and my life.

So, here's to Mile 5 and for all that it has taught me already. And here's to being a woman who rises above insecurities and belittling comparisons to becoming exactly who she is supposed to be :-)

And since no post is complete without a picture or two, here are a few from Halloween weekend that you may enjoy!

Rock climbing in Yellow Springs with some friends! Thats me, climbing in my TOMS shoes :-)
Enjoying the caramel apples we made
The four of us with our pumpkins we carved
A funny picture of me eating a little baby apple at an apple orchard in Yellow Springs.

Ben and I picking out our pumpkins at the pumpkin farm!

I hope that this post finds you doing well. And I hope that it finds you with your own Mile 5 and your own accomplishments to push you on to be exactly who you were meant to be :-)